You’ll never be perfect. But you’ll always be unique.” - Unknown
UNDERSTAND!
A. IF YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE WITH ADHD:
Understand what ADHD is. It’s characterized by:
- A heightened sensitivity of physical senses and emotions
- Being easily overwhelmed
- Having fabulous gifts, talents, and creativity
- Being lots of fun
- Never getting boring
- Being forgetful, scattered, and unfocused
- Not ‘getting’ things some of the time
- Struggling to be on time
- Innovation
- Kindness
BE KINDCARE
Your partner may have been alienated, ridiculed, or shunned
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND ALL YOU CAN
B. IF YOU HAVE ADHD AND ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Understand you have a condition similar to trauma (and may include trauma too).
You’ll likely enter relationships with people who’ve experienced trauma also.
Neither of you has a monopoly on pain; you both need extra love.
Trauma and stress from childhood are challenging to overcome. It takes kindness, patience, care, and specific techniques.
Trauma from early life events can last a lifetime, as Vincent Felitti illustrates in the renowned Adult Childhood Trauma (ACE) study.
For those with ADHD, being extra sensitive is traumatic. Other factors play a role too (family relationships, classroom misunderstandings, etc.)
This means you both need extra kindness from yourselves and each other.
EDUCATE
Both research all you can about ADHD. The blogs here are designed to give you a robust overview.
Learn about additional trauma that has a major impact on you or your partner.
There are some helpful books written on ADHD. Almost all are written by those with or those married to people with ADHD.
Bessel Van Der Kolk is the world’s leading trauma expert, he talks a lot about ADHD also. Check out his writing and videos.
Education is a large part of the repair.
When you lack clarity, you wander through life in a haze, relationships suffer because of misunderstanding. You both pay a high price.
KNOW THE VALUE OF RELATIONSHIPS
As challenging as relationships can be, they’re vital.
Vital is a special word, meaning full of life.
With ADHD in particular:
- Good relationships heal and nurture.
- Bad ones can destroy you.
People with ADHD often struggle to attach initially, and they stay too long when a bad relationship needs to end.
It IS possible for two hurting people to grow and heal together. That’s something we help with here. It takes awareness of what’s going on, and a dedication to transformation.
- Pick well. This is critically important since those with ADHD are so much more sensitive. It’ll save the heartache of picking yourself up and possibly dealing with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) at the end of an unhealthy relationship.
- If it’s going nowhere, exit fast.
- Keep life balanced so your relationship isn’t everything.
MAKE IT EASY
Declutter. In all areas of your life.
Sail a very light boat
Ditch the intensity.
Let go, free your senses, let them wonder, as to your thoughts.
Simplify; make everything efficient and easy.
Be the best you, and your relationship will explode with wonder.
LAUGH
Oh laugh! Until your belly hurts (or you pee yourself!)
Live that wild joy of life. Let it radiate from every part of you
Love and laughter: These are the keys to life.
We hear lots about love, but laughter is all too often overlooked.
Let childlike joy run through both of you.
There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself” - Lauren King
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE ADHD Relationship Survival Guide
Truly understand, connect, and have the relationship you always dreamed.
You’ll never be perfect. But you’ll always be unique.” - Unknown
UNDERSTAND!
A. IF YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE WITH ADHD:
Understand what ADHD is. It’s characterized by:
- A heightened sensitivity of physical senses and emotions
- Being easily overwhelmed
- Having fabulous gifts, talents, and creativity
- Being lots of fun
- Never getting boring
- Being forgetful, scattered, and unfocused
- Not ‘getting’ things some of the time
- Struggling to be on time
- Innovation
- Kindness
BE KINDCARE
Your partner may have been alienated, ridiculed, or shunned
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND ALL YOU CAN
B. IF YOU HAVE ADHD AND ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Understand you have a condition similar to trauma (and may include trauma too).
You’ll likely enter relationships with people who’ve experienced trauma also.
Neither of you has a monopoly on pain; you both need extra love.
Trauma and stress from childhood are challenging to overcome. It takes kindness, patience, care, and specific techniques.
Trauma from early life events can last a lifetime, as Vincent Felitti illustrates in the renowned Adult Childhood Trauma (ACE) study.
For those with ADHD, being extra sensitive is traumatic. Other factors play a role too (family relationships, classroom misunderstandings, etc.)
This means you both need extra kindness from yourselves and each other.
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE ADHD Relationship Survival Guide
Truly understand, connect, and have the relationship you always dreamed.
EDUCATE
Both research all you can about ADHD. The blogs here are designed to give you a robust overview.
Learn about additional trauma that has a major impact on you or your partner.
There are some helpful books written on ADHD. Almost all are written by those with or those married to people with ADHD.
Bessel Van Der Kolk is the world’s leading trauma expert, he talks a lot about ADHD also. Check out his writing and videos.
Education is a large part of the repair.
When you lack clarity, you wander through life in a haze, relationships suffer because of misunderstanding. You both pay a high price.
KNOW THE VALUE OF RELATIONSHIPS
As challenging as relationships can be, they’re vital.
Vital is a special word, meaning full of life.
With ADHD in particular:
- Good relationships heal and nurture.
- Bad ones can destroy you.
People with ADHD often struggle to attach initially, and they stay too long when a bad relationship needs to end.
It IS possible for two hurting people to grow and heal together. That’s something we help with here. It takes awareness of what’s going on, and a dedication to transformation.
- Pick well. This is critically important since those with ADHD are so much more sensitive. It’ll save the heartache of picking yourself up and possibly dealing with RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) at the end of an unhealthy relationship.
- If it’s going nowhere, exit fast.
- Keep life balanced so your relationship isn’t everything.
MAKE IT EASY
Declutter. In all areas of your life.
Sail a very light boat
Ditch the intensity.
Let go, free your senses, let them wonder, as to your thoughts.
Simplify; make everything efficient and easy.
Be the best you, and your relationship will explode with wonder.
LAUGH
Oh laugh! Until your belly hurts (or you pee yourself!)
Live that wild joy of life. Let it radiate from every part of you
Love and laughter: These are the keys to life.
We hear lots about love, but laughter is all too often overlooked.
Let childlike joy run through both of you.
There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself” - Lauren King
ADHDRedefined
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