The greatest love is to ‘stay with ourselves’ through the tough times. With oodles of love and understanding.

It’s easy to be with yourself when the going’s good, friends are in endless supply, you won a new contract, or are dipping your feet in an azure ocean.

It’s harder when life sucks, and you feel totally out of control.

Most difficult of all isn’t what’s outside, but inner demons, disappointments, and failures.

How do we quell the desire to drink ourselves to oblivion, inhale 12 donuts, lose ourselves on Facebook and other people’s lives all night long, for no reason, other than we don’t like ourselves?

The secret is so simple that most people miss it completely. To connect with yourself. As you would with a dog who’s terrified to come close. Without judgment, knowing it’s ok to screw up, to just ‘be there’ with you.

That’s love.

The simple ‘being’. For most people, it’s the hardest thing in the world.

(Because we‘re taught it isn’t ok to be us. From birth we learn to people-please).

Since it’s such a challenge, here’s the other secret no one tells you:

When you’re terrified to sit with you, don’t worry, don’t push it. Instead, sit with that terror. It’s enough. In fact, it’s everything!

(And it IS sitting with you of course!)

No perfection, no right or wrong, no judgment, just understanding, and acceptance of where you happen to be.

When we do this, our demons cease to be fed and slink off into the night.  

When we stop trying, we stop people-pleasing and accept ourselves.

Paradoxically, as we keep ourselves company in our jails of despair, we become liberated, and finally begin to do what we always wanted, and be who we are. Even if we do it miserably at first, hand in hand with our own selves, we take flight.

Self-love really is THAT important.